Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
