I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
