D3 body, D1 cock
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
