I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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