Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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