Well apparently he's into motor boating.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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