you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
