Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
