in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
