Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
