My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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