when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
