i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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