Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
