Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize