Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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