question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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