If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
