I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
