What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize