I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
