Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
