If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Everything about him screamed your future.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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