i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
3 2 1 whiskey
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
