i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
