so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
