Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
last night I used snow as a chaser
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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