i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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