this beer tastes like vomit already
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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