Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
