omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
