So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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