If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
