I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
