walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
