we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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