Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
