I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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