My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
