I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
