fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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