dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
