i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
