I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm too high and old for this...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
