Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
All I want is dick and wine.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
