I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
