There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
