so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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