no, he came in my armpit
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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