the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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