Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
