How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
