Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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