I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
