i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
