He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize