So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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